(This might very well be a working draft of a non-fiction narrative.)
Prologue: This is a story of mature love between the incorrigible Wizard of Orange County & a hopelessly romantic witch who operates a cauldron in Subic Bay who found each other at the most extraordinary perfect timing: When both are ready to receive the love that they deserve. Both were hidden from each other- between a 16-year age gap, 7,307 miles (or 11,759 kilometers or 6,350 nautical miles) in distance & a 15-hour time-zone difference. (Who knows the actual period that they’d been hidden away from each other? It is not remotely impossible to imagine that the same story might had been chronicled under different settings by storytellers who might had been the past lives of these two lovers- traveling through time from the beautiful islets of Ireland to the remote Pygmyland of the Philippines) .
However, the wizard & the witch were bound to meet in this lifetime and they didn’t know it yet until that fateful day on May 15, 2009, at a crowded Los Angeles airport, under the Japan Airlines arrivals sign.
This is the version of the witch, narrated under first person experience, with reference to life in the modern-day. Oh, the Wizard has his own version of the story, too, that he crafted as a letter to his friends- for both are story-tellers. Both lived on writing stories about other people and events that surround human nature,,, And now they find themselves writing the story of their own lives together. How beautiful can that finally be. Both have vivid memories because they were guided by their hearts. Both etched an unbelievable encounter in their minds, that they can’t wait to tell their children and their children’s children how they found each other. Both are looking forward to inspire them in finding the love of their own.)
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Inspired by a fairytale I read as a 12-year old, I day-dreamed about being saved by a knight in shining armor from a vicious dragon that held me prisoner atop the Tower of Nothingness. I didn’t know the true meaning of love then. Then later as an awkward 18-year old, I first learned to slay my own real-life dragons. There were so many from then on, that only my brain memory where pain was being recorded can remember: an uninitiated life as a young person, disappointments with my own family, hunger in living the writer/poet’s life in college, coldness of those you consider friends, opportunism of some people, failure after failure in finding love. All these are vicious dragons in themselves. and they thrive whenever love is absent.
I was always easily devoured in my weakness- to be young, foolish, stubborn, and ill-equipped to conquer the world. But I fought back to kill these dragons. I always had. I fought back for years on endless nights. I won my own battles, single-handedly, with no knight in sight. There were Phyrric victories, too. Most times I had to grow back the emotional limbs that I lost. A few times I lost heavily. The ones that I lost will be fought again and won later in the saga of my dragon fights.
I lost faith in the knight. I thought that he would never come to rescue me so I trained in my own sword and always prepared to defend myself. The sword was heavy for a young woman but I carried it with an ease of a warrior princess. Tender as my heart will always be, I regained faith whenever I encountered what I thought to be love; lost & regained it a dozen times more.
For seemingly like an eternity, I’ve been praying for the love of my life to come find me. Endless nights were spent crying myself to sleep, praying for my heart to be patient. (God, where is he? When is he coming into my life?)
In the past, my spirit was crushed and had dangerously strayed in jadedness brought by countless insignificant relations with men who did not recognize the intensity of love in me. I was looking for love & was unsuccessful because I was simply wasn't ready. So I searched in the wrong persons and places. Little did I know that I was just being prepared to receive the love that I deserve, in the fullness of my willingness to give and receive. For in each and every experience, there was a lesson to be learned. So I continued with my search and have given love unselfishly and failed. But in the end of every episode in my quest, I have always collected myself from the torrents of anguish to feed my hope again.
Then that moment came, like a shooting star, sudden and unexpected in the horizon of my Being. One night, at a crowded airport in Los Angeles, my love found me & I found comfort in his arms. I’m safe. I’m home. I’m revered and valued. I feel the radiance of love that envelops my being whenever he looks into my eyes. Like a lost child, I held his hand & knew since then that I will never let it go,,,,,
It all began in the most untrustworthy of places in the world- via a match-making service in the Internet. He wrote to me and asked me to give him an hour of conversation, ,, an hour! Who is this man? Why is he so confident that an hour of talking to him would provide me an answer whether he or he isn’t the one? What does he know about my personal quest?
His name is Patrick James Michael Hurley. Further research to build trust (thanks to the same dubious Internet), under the guidance of the Matchmaker from Above, showed him to be sane, farthest from being a Jack-the-Ripper, honest, respected, highly-intelligent, very creative, and most of all- funny.
His resume begins with: “three-time Emmy winner for hosting kids and teenage talk shows in LA and Chicago.” Patrick was a scriptwriter & host for the Bozo Show! (Rewind: Rick, my immediate past love had called me ‘Bozo’ in some of our meaningless banters. Now what do you think he would say if I told him: “Hey Rick, you know what- I missed my chance with Bozo the Clown, so I’m marrying his scriptwriter instead.” Knowing Rick's love of humor, perhaps he would die laughing. Or maybe he would kill me by landing his plane on top of my head. I hope not.)
Let me brag about Patrick’s accomplishments some more: “... was a comedian for 3 years on ABC TV, authored 6 books, did a McDonald’s commercial, (more important-) a Christian motivational speaker who performed in over 8,000 schools to more than 6 million students, teachers & parents." He is also an opinion writer for Internet publications- one was the same outlet where Mitch Albom, the author of “Tuesdays with Morrie,” writes. He even appeared in a holiday special with my favorite jazz great, Ramsey Lewis, and a TV stint with tennis superstar Billie Jean King! Currently, he is writing a sit-com intended for national TV and he still talks (a lot,,, Gee, what a talkative guy!) to students in high school campuses.
What is this accomplished man doing in my Universe? Did God finally hear my prayers for the love of my life to find me, and He sent this bear of a man to make it real?
My Patrick is 61 and balding- he never lied about both (gosh, he sends pictures everyday) and he is, by the way, cute. (His over-all strong character, mixed with neatness and fashion sense make him cute.)
Between the two of us, hundreds of hours were spent- writing letters, the written words turned into poetry, telephone conversations ranging from true to the brutally true- for seven hours daily that ended in the wee hours of the morning!
Who is this man? Is he for real?
I can’t recall which point of our communication gave it all away. We were so enamored with each other that each time we say goodbye over the phone it tears us apart. Suddenly we realized “an encounter in the nearest future is a must.” (He told me later on our engagement day that he knew that I am the woman he was going to marry. He even told his friends even before he met me- and how they found him ridiculous, if not hilarious! The same friends said in meeting me that they admired Patrick’s single-mindedness; some have even hinted to ask our help in finding the Filipina love of their lives! Hah, talking about faith and redemption in the same vein.)
Now back to the inevitable face-to-face encounter: I was in Subic, he was in OC when he told me over the phone~ “Let us meet in Hawaii, a common ground. I’ll send you the ticket tomorrow.”
Whaaatttttt? !!! Are you crazy? I said no.
He bounced back: “Okay, then come to LA then to see how I live. That will give you an idea in the future if you will decide to settle here with me.” (Or something like that.)
I said no again. Is he really crazy? We were having a good time being friends over the Internet and now he wants to ruin the budding romance by closing the deal abruptly. I suspect he wasn't even thinking straight! Or perhaps he knows something that I don’t know? What is it? My cynical inner voice was saying: Who does he think he is~ I just arrived 2 months ago from a 5-month vacation in the US, 5 months! And now I have a new job in the Philippines, 2 promising projects courtesy of a very dear friend and he is telling me to abandon everything just to be with him? And what about my children, what are they going to say? Damn him.
I allowed myself to play: “I think you should be the one to visit, Patrick. Meet my family, my friends, my community. Learn more about me.”
He said no. “Let’s not involve family until we are sure, Jen, for the sake of your own children, so that if nothing comes out of our encounter, you will have no trouble explaining things.”
Okay, fair enough. Later on, he confessed he was also apprehensive to travel the butt-whacking 12-hour or so plane trip because he might fall into the trap of doing nothing in the Philippines while I was working. And “what if,” he quips, “what if you are ugly?” Hahaha, how funny is that.
I slept on the offer for a few more days. So Jen, is it Hawaii or LA? Sleepless nights! Damn that man. He occupies my head 24 hours a day!~ Voodoo work or what!
Everyday, he pounded about predestination (he’s a faithful Christian so it’s always within the context of God’s amazing intervention) and how we connect well in our phone interaction. What would happen if we see eye-to-eye? Meeting in person will validate chemistry or the lack of it. Truthfully, I was excited to see this strange man. He is slowly, but surely, growing in me.
So on the third day, I said okay, I’ll meet him in LA. I can fly on May 15 but I have to be back in Manila by May 26 for my APO Convention. He might have been screaming yahoo! silently. As a standard precaution if in case he is not the man I believed him to be, I strongly suggested that he meet with my high school friends based in LA before I arrive. It was necessary for my psychology. He said okay and offered to give his address & all known contacts & references to them.
However, the encounter with my high school gfs without my presence proved to be a little unpleasant, all over a misunderstanding about some arrangements and schedules that concern my "personal welfare." Welcome to my Filipino world, Patrick, hahaha,,, This is a story better left to the confines of the past. Bennette, Cecilyn & Myline had my best interest at heart and I love them dearly for being such great protectors. Patrick was just clueless on how to mix with Filipinos at first. But he is willing to learn about our culture. Nice start. (When he met with the Batch '80 girls again for the second time @ Shermann Oaks, they seemed to have gotten along great. Oh, well.)
I left Manila for LAX without telling my children. Big-time mommy-liar! My guilt would have eaten me alive if not for the fact that I told my brother Kemp, Kaye & Joyce about the circumstances surrounding my sudden trip to the US. I didn’t have the chance to tell the others, especially those who I thought will just scream on my face, saying- What, a match-making date! Don’t leave, you are crazy!~
Fast-forward: Uneventful flight PR 112 to LAX, left Manila @ 8.30pm May 15, arrived at the same date @ LAX 7pm. There I was, standing directly under the JAL Arrivals sign where I agreed to wait for Patrick.
A maroon Toyota Camry stopped in front of me. A fashionably hefty man with a glowing smile got out of the car. Light kiss on the face. He hugged me and I hugged him back. I felt the world around me stopped. We were two people in the middle of a sea of humanity and nothing else matters except our presence.
A teddy bear was waiting for me with the tag “Your Big Bear” at the passenger’s seat. (That’s what I call him even before I met him.) 30 minutes later, we were eating dinner at the Marriot Restaurant. Dinner was overtaken by quiet sighs. God, who is this guy with such a strong presence? He towers over me. I felt dwarfed but protected. I was so groggy and tired from the trip that I slept on his chest for 20 minutes or so. Silence. Just the pipe-in jazz music can be heard & the heaving of his chest. He wasn’t moving. He passed the gentleman test. Jose, the Mexican headwaiter @ the Marriot was so taken by these two lovers sitting quietly in one corner that he bought us a glass of wine each. We waited for traffic to subside in downtown LA before Patrick drove home to Placentia.
Coming home to a cozy 2-bedroom Orchard Apartments, a sense of homeliness swept over me. Our adventure together begins. This is it. This is where I want to be.
You have already read about the rest of the 9-day whirlwind romance and the proposal story from Patrick who also shared the account tirelessly with everyone he knows at Orange County, even with the Korean grocer and his wife where he buys phone cards from. (He just can't keep his mouth shut about us!)
So let me proceed to my own feelings.
How do you explain magic?
You simply don’t. Attempt to rationalize it like you used to when you were still a miserable thirty-something “victim of love’s circumstances” (like most of us pretended or believed we were) and you will just spoil the racket.
One thing I know is that I’ve never been this happy. I’ve never had a spirit so calm despite the unbelievable excitement, despite the amazing romance.
On the night Patrick proposed to me, he said: “This is it, Jenny. We know that we belong together,,, Let me love you and take care of you the rest of our lives,,,,, Let us share this amazing journey to life,,, Will you marry me?”
The idiomatic phrase “Cold feet” did not become an idiom if it wasn’t real. Time stopped for me for the second time in a week- this time, the profundity of the moment was more pronounced than that night at the crowded airport. I didn’t actually hear myself say ‘yes’ but I heard my spirit sang a quiet, lovely song that can only be heard by Patrick and I .
My ring finger had been waiting for that one twisted ring all of my life! The beginning of becoming one.
A love story cannot be complete without a conflict. First, I have to hurdle the challenge of telling my family, especially my children who are the most important wealth in the world to me. Perhaps I was also fearful that they would not agree to have a ‘stranger’ in our lives. I know I will have to endeavor to understand their point of view, if it ever comes to that extreme, for we were happy the way we were. We were so normal in our own crazy and dysfunctional way so any change in patterns might just disturb the familial equilibrium.
Patrick, is gifted in communicating with teenagers. He somehow managed to hit it off with my older kids, despite the initial shock on part of my kids. (He is also determined to win the friendship of the two younger ones, understanding how shocked they must have been about the sudden turn of events.) He is sincere in communicating with each child- unique and special as they are in their own ways, by writing individual emails and by phone calls. No man has ever been that focused on respecting the importance of my children in my life. He is consistent and warm and he is patient in that regard.
On the night that I told my family about us, he was eagerly waiting in his time-zone to meet my parents & brothers over the phone. I’m not sure if he was successful in charming my mother for she didn’t show any indication that she was pleased while Patrick was talking on the other end of the line. At one point I just heard her launch the attack: “And I would expect you to take care of my daughter, alright?” (Remember that this is a woman who told her daughters not to trust anyone who says “Trust me.” Patrick, thank God, didn’t say “Trust me.”)
Patrick later told me that he was pleased with how the conversation with my mother & brother Ian turned out. “Your mother is what I expected her to be- so direct to the point.” He sounded hopeful and that’s good enough for me to be convinced that he will blend well with my family. Hahahaha, come December when he finally meets with them, I'd ready the duct tape for his mouth and the ropes to tie him up with.
Patrick is an indomitable spirit and I’ve never known anyone as decisive and as big-hearted as he is. He is both all of these: tender and ardent, loyal and a lovable flirt, intelligent and willing to be conquered by my intelligence (only on rare occasions), attached and detached, funny and bizaare, quiet and loud, simple and complex. I’m his biggest gamble as he is mine. And I’ve never experienced a love like his.
__________
In closing, I would like to share with you the contents of the letter he wrote on a card that he gave to me before I took the plane back to Manila on May 24th:
Jenny,
These past nine days have not only made me to fall in love
with you, they have changed my life.
Saying goodbye to you tonight splits my heart
in half because part of me is going with you.
The other part of me will be waiting here for you
to come home to me and to us…
When you doubt or get afraid, just look at your
ring and see my smiling face shimmering at you with
all the twists and turns that our love has for each other.
I am waiting for you, darling.
You are… Jenny Hurley.
My love, my partner, my life, my best friend,
my Soulmate, my lover and… my wife.
I love you.
Love always,
Your Patrick
____________ _________ _________ _________ ______
By the way, he gave me the new nickname ‘Jenny,’ thinking that it flows better with ‘Hurley.’ I am learning to get accustomed to this new life. It won’t be easy but I sure am ready to fly away with Patrick in our magic carpet ride of a lifetime. (Or should it be brooms for the wizard and his witch?)
With all the joys and uncertainties and lessons and conflicts and laughter and fears and glory that we might encounter along the way, we count on your support and continued friendship,, ,, Please offer us a prayer of love, peace, joy, good health, and prosperity,, ,,, May the Lord also grant you all these in your own.
Jen Velarmino
I love your story Jen "parang pelikula". I took the liberty of lifting it from your email and posted it here. Glad you've found what you were looking for. Hope all of us do. agpineda
